self-compassion

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Are You Phosphorescent?

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Are You Phosphorescent?

Every quarter I contribute an essay to Elan Vitae Magazine. For Spring 2024, I wrote an essay entitled “Phosphorescent,” which was inspired by my March 2024 blog. (If you are curious, you can read that HERE.)

Every issue has a theme, and the Spring 2024 theme is Light. I love to create some contstraint when writing—these guardrails give you a place to start—but when I first thought about Light as a starting place, it confounded me. There were so many ways I could go with this essay—not much constraint there!

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Wintering in the Absence of Mothering

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Wintering in the Absence of Mothering

As we head into a time of Wintering, a time of receding and regrouping, a time of cocooning and hygge, I am abundantly aware of the stillness and silence that surround me – especially since my daughter left for college. The silence really isn’t silent, though, and the stillness seems to be an illusion as well. Or maybe it’s just that my expectation of these isn’t what I am currently experiencing. 

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Allowing Space for Discomfort When Your Only Child Leaves for College

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Allowing Space for Discomfort When Your Only Child Leaves for College

When I think about what is rising inside of me during this season, I can’t help but look at the proverbial elephant in the room – a paradox of emotions slinking beneath the surface of my everyday, dangerously close to coming into full display with the departure of my daughter to college. I am exceedingly excited for her and all the opportunities and experiences in front of her. I am incredibly proud of her determination and perseverance. I am eager for her to experience the joy of independence, self-sufficiency, and finding purpose and passion in her educational pursuits. I want her to find contentment and peace in her every day and experience the full range of what life offers, and that includes the highs and the lows and all of the nuance in between. At the same time, I want to shield her from the disappointment, sadness, grief, and pain that will undoubtedly show up in that spectrum of experiences on her journey. Holding all of it together – yep, the definition of paradox.

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Cultivating a Space that Is Safe When It Comes to Creativity

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Cultivating a Space that Is Safe When It Comes to Creativity

There is so much about creativity and inspiration that occurs as a paradox. To do that, we need to show up to the event, and events have a BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER. What will we do BEFORE to prepare ourselves? What will we do DURING to help support ourselves? What will we do AFTER?

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How Do You Create a Sense of Safeness for Yourself?

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How Do You Create a Sense of Safeness for Yourself?

When we feel safe enough, we are able to create with abandon – in whatever form that takes. For me, that is writing, but also other creative practices: art-making, coaching, singing, or anything else where I am leaning on my creativity – you pick your preferred mode of creation! If we don’t feel safe or comfortable enough, we find ourselves using all of our energy just to survive.

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Committed to Comfort

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Committed to Comfort

I live in Ohio. As such, the coming of Spring feels momentous and inspiring. January and February are a gray and gloomy duo for the most part. We vacillate from bitter cold – the kind that mercilessly cuts through your parka (yes, the thick and bulky one) – to steely skies that, while not bitter, surely aren’t warming. As I think about the Januarys and Februarys throughout my life, I often picture myself trudging through them while simultaneously trying to hygge up my space, bringing some comfort and cozy to my inner and outer landscape. And don’t get me wrong, I live by the seasons and enjoy the freedom I find within myself while I navigate them; however, as we gingerly approach each new season, I find myself ready for the shift. 

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Compassionate Process Over Productivity Please

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Compassionate Process Over Productivity Please

Productivity is a word that, in some contexts, is helpful. Dirty dishes? Yes, productivity is helpful. I like to eat off of clean plates and have a clean glass. No clean underwear or socks? Yes, let’s do that laundry and check that task off the list!

But what about writing? I see lots of noise right now around writing and productivity– it’s January, after all. What do I mean by noise? Here are some examples…

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It's All About the Relationship

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It's All About the Relationship

When I tell people that I read for pleasure at night after a day of working with authors on their books and also writing for myself, they look at me in disbelief. It’s true, though. I adore books. I adore story. I adore witnessing a voice in its fullness. But more than anything, I adore the relationships I cultivate when I am reading.

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For the Love of Letters

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For the Love of Letters

…A couple of years ago, we found letters, though. Letter after letter dating back to the 1930s, some barely legible and faded after years of being stored in a shoebox. Letters from my grandfather to my grandmother which explored his deep and abiding love for her. These letters were stunningly expressive, heartfelt, deep explorations of love.

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What My Run Reminded Me About My Writing Practice

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What My Run Reminded Me About My Writing Practice

If there is one activity that brings on my creativity and inspiration it is walking. I am a walker. Nature soothes my soul and allows me to access inner safeness in a world that feels chaotic and overwhelming at times. I like to walk alone. I like to walk with my dog. I like to walk with friends and family occasionally, but mostly it’s just me on my walks and all of my parts that need some soothing.